Etiquette from Anna Post

This question was recently submitted to Anna Post for her etiquette advice.

Question:

Do I have to send someone a wedding invitation if I sent them a save-the-date?

Answer:

It's an absolute must to send a wedding invitation to anyone who received a save-the-date announcement. There's a clear expectation when a save-the-date card is received that an invitation will follow; failing to send one is essentially the same as uninviting a guest—which is unacceptable. If finances have become an issue to the planning since the save-the-dates were sent, the answer is to cut back on the scale of catering, music, flowers or invitation—instead of on people already planning to come.

Save-the-date cards are usually sent out as soon as a couple knows the actual wedding date, no matter how far in advance, to ensure that as many guests as possible are able to attend. However, this does not mean that you need to know your entire guest list at that time. It's fine to send them only to people you are sure will be invited, such as close friends and family. Later, when you have finalized your full guest list, wedding invitations can be sent to the larger group.

from Brides.com

image from magnetstreet

Dontcha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me?

A fantastic ring tone, Yes.  Totally embarrassing when it rings in the middle of your wedding ceremony?  Definitely.

Emily Post shares the best way to avoid this blunder and encourage your ceremony guests to switch their ringer to vibrate.

"Yes, they’re everywhere and weddings are no exception. Here are three ways to remind guests to turn off their cell phones before the ceremony begins:

Print a tasteful little notice in your program ceremony, saying: “We wish to remind you to please turn off your cell phone ringer and refrain from using your cell phone during the wedding ceremony. Thank you!”

You could notify everyone as they sign a guest book when entering the ceremony site. Have an attendant direct guests to sign the book. Next to the book post an attractive sign (perhaps in a picture frame) next to the book. You could use the same wording as above, ‘reminding’ your guests to turn off their cell phones.

If you are not using a ceremony program or having guests sign a guest book, you could have someone make an announcement just before the wedding processional begins, “Please turn off your cell phones—the ceremony is about to begin!” While this last choice is acceptable, it is not as good as the other two less intrusive ones. A verbal announcement might deflate some of the upbeat anticipation of the ceremony and detract from the positive joy of the moment that is about to begin."

thank you EmilyPost.com

Honey, Do This...

The Emily Post Institute - to go-to source for all things etiquette - posted this list for all of the Groom's-To-Be wondering what their role is in this wedding thing.

"Weddings for the Groom

The "Honey Do" List

1.  Send her flowers - for no reason.

2.  Send her flowers for a reason - the 6 month anniversary of your engagement, her birthday, because it's one week until the wedding.

3.  Take her younger siblings to a movie, ball game, or the circus.

4.  Take her Mom and Dad to lunch.

5.  Giver her a half hour foot massage - once a week.

(Graduate to pedicure and she'll never ask you to take out the garbage.)

6.  Be her personal chauffeur for a day of wedding errands.

7.  Leave little love notes on her fridge.

8.  Plan one evening a week just for the two of you - no wedding talk allowed - just romance.

On a more practical level, here are some great ways for the groom to contribute his expertise to the wedding planning.

If you are:

A techno guy, create and manage the wedding web site.

If spreadsheets are your thing, you can help manage guest lists, gift lists, and to do lists.

A wine lover, you can help select the wines and liquors for the reception.

Into music, research and help the select the band or music.

A car lover, take charge of all the transportation needs for the wedding.

A foodie, help with the menu planning and /or selection of the caterer.

Another enormous help to your fiancee is to write the thank you notes to your relatives and close friends.  Sharing this responsibility goes a long way to reduce what can, at times, seem an overwhelming task.

And one of the best ways a groom can lend a hand is by working with his parents to get a head start on planning the rehearsal dinner.  With all the planning needs intrinsic to a wedding, don't feel shy about putting your expertise to good use."

thank you Emily Post Institute

image from thebestweddingreceptionever

Cheers!

As we approach wedding season it's time for a refresher on proper toasting etiquette.

Typically the reception is opened with a Welcome from the Father of the Bride.  He welcomes everyone to the wedding, shares his joy, and acknowledges special guests.  The Best Man then offers his toast to the Bride and Groom, followed by an optional blessing of the meal by an honored guest or clergy.

Some may also choose to add the Maid of Honor's toast to the wedding day, however it is also very appropriate at the Rehearsal Dinner.

A few hints on having a great toast:

*Take a glass of champagne with you

*The toast should be no longer than 2 minutes

*Start things off with an introduction and explanation of yours relationship to Groom

*Be sure to acknowledge the hosts of the Event

*You must mention the Bride at some point - preferable something about how she is wonderful

*You can include a cute story about how the Bride and Groom met

*When you're finished raise your glass and propose a toast!

Cheers!

Just please don't...

*Mention past relationships, tell off color jokes, or be offensive

*Drone on endlessly.  Short and sweet is always best

*Tell stories about childhood and/or college unless they are relevant to the wedding or the bride and the groom

*Mention the rehearsal dinner - unless everyone at the wedding was also present the night before

*Try to embarrass the Bride or Groom

And remember...

The Rehearsal Dinner is the perfect opportunity for additional toasts from friends and family.